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A slippery slope of frustration

Today I feel pure frustration. I don't know how else to describe it.

I found out this morning that because of abnormal urine checks each month and a few high blood pressure readings at earlier appointments (but not the last three!), I have to start going for non-stress tests (NSTs) twice a week from here until the baby is born.

I'm a little annoyed by this, mainly because I was led to believe my blood pressure had returned to normal the last several appointments (and whenever my husband checked it at home). Also, I've had protein in my urine since sometime in January but they were never concerned because my blood pressure was better and I have had no swelling or other issues.

But today, apparently, they're concerned again. Ugh.

I KNOW it's all precautionary and I KNOW it's better to be safe than sorry. But really?! I feel like somehow my body has decided to betray me. I feel fine, really, so what the heck?

The baby rocked her first NST today, and I have faith that she'll continue to do that every time. (Eat that, medical people!) We also go for a growth ultrasound Friday, so I'm at least looking forward to seeing her again.

On Sunday, I'll be a hermit once more as I have to stay home and collect my pee in a jug for 24 hours again. That's right, I said again. Don't you just LOVE the things we have to do for pregnancy? Maybe I'll pass that test too and have more to rub in their faces.

I realize this is all very whiny (AGAIN), but I just need to get it off my chest. With so many things in pregnancy, testing and interventions just put you down a slippery slope to more testing and interventions.

I realize it's premature, but today I told Kyle that I might as well give up my hopes for a med-free birth. Call me stupid, but at this point I'm frustrated and so ready to give up all I had planned and get ready to jump on the epidural train.

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