Let's review some important dates in the last two months of my life:
- Friday, Dec. 5 - My last Weight Watchers meeting before Christmas
- Thursday, Dec. 19 - The day I gave up and decided to stop tracking points for a while
- Wednesday, Dec. 24 - The day I published a post in an attempt to excuse my poor eating choices and lack of tracking
- Sunday, Dec. 28 - The day I returned to tracking, with my weight up nearly 5 pounds
- Thursday, Jan. 1 - The day I published what I thought would be an inspiring post for people starting the New Year's resolutions (turns out, it was everything I needed to tell myself)
- Friday, Jan. 16 - The day I had a bit of a meltdown on Facebook because I was too far out of goal range to return to my Weight Watchers meeting without having to pay the weekly fee (or so I thought)
- Friday, Jan. 30 - The day I FINALLY weighed in at my meeting, back in goal range and back on track after eight loooong weeks
That last one is the most important. As a Lifetime member of Weight Watchers, I'm supposed to weigh in once per calendar month in order to keep my membership and free eTools (my tracking app, essentially). I'm also supposed to be within 2 pounds of my goal weight or pay a weekly fee until I'm back in range. Up to this point, I was very good at skipping meetings whenever I was out of the top range (because let's be honest ... I've never been under range!). I would eat really well for a week, maybe add an extra mile or two, and I would be back on track.
But this time was different. I allowed myself to fall down a slippery slope, even though I fully acknowledged it would be hard to climb back up. I wrote that I didn't mind dealing with the consequences ... Well, up until then the consequences hadn't been hard to deal with.
This time, they sucked. I had to really work to get back to where I was before, and I didn't like the feeling of hopelessness I had, willing the scale to move down. It was embarrassing, and that's exactly what I told my leader when I walked into our meeting Friday.
"Where have you been?" she asked. "We've missed you!"
"Well, I've been too far out of goal range ... and too embarrassed to show my face," I said.
"Oh my! I've been worried about you!" she replied.
"Well, you should have been worried," I said. "I was a little too merry at Christmas, and I had a hard time dealing with the consequences."
After a hug, she explained that I should still show up at meetings when I'm out of range because I don't have to weigh in if I don't want. She said what I already thought, "That's exactly when you need a meeting the most."
You know what? During those eight weeks without meetings, I sorta knew in the back of my mind that I should still go. I figured they wouldn't charge me or care about my poor choices ... But I couldn't get past that little voice in my head that said I would be admitting to failure. The only failure during that time, however, was my failure to come clean and realize that I was making excuses for myself.
My leader talked more about excuses during our meeting. She's always quick to remind us that excuses get us no where. We'll always be too busy or too tired or too stressed, she said. There's never a good time to lose weight! Remember, no one NEEDS that junk food in the house, and no one's FORCING us to eat that donut on the break room table. We can choose to give in to our excuses ... or we can choose to rise above them.
So, do I regret taking the holidays "off" and going on an eating spree? Yes and no. Of course, I regret some of my food choices (Those cookies? WORTH IT!) and I regret feeling like crap most days (OK, maybe I didn't need 12 cookies in 1 day ...). But I don't regret the valuable lessons I learned from the experience. Ever since I started tracking again, I haven't stopped. That's right, I have tracked EVERY SINGLE THING I've eaten since Dec. 28, and I want to keep that streak alive.
Also, Kyle and I bought Jawbone activity trackers on Jan. 2, so we've literally tracked every step we've taken since then, too. I'll have more to write about that later, but let's just say that the data has been eye-opening.
So I started off 2015 coming to terms with my excuses. How about you? Let's get back up and keep going. The year's not over - we still have time to make it amazing.