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Third Trimester FAQs (Or an attempt to keep from losing my shit on everyone)

It's official. The end of pregnancy is imminent, and the waiting game has begun. With three weeks left until my due date, he could technically arrive any time ... any time between now and two weeks AFTER my due date, that is.

I may have gotten a little cranky with people asking my about my pregnancy lately ... And posted this warning on Facebook:


"I pinky promise I will let the world know when the baby is born. Until then, every person who asks about the status of my uterus will go straight to the bottom of the contract list. Just try me." 

To appease some of you and prevent you from trying my patience any further, I decided to put together a list of frequently asked questions ...

When's your due date again? 
Oct. 31 - Halloween. I'd prefer if he came that day, but I realize the odds are against me. He'll come whenever he is ready!

Are you sure about the due date? You're looking like you'll go sooner than that ...
Without going into great medical and personal details, yes I am sure. And so is my doctor. Thanks for reminding me that I'm looking huge.

How big is baby now? Have you had an ultrasound to check? 
According to babysizer.com, he's as big as a Zach Morris phone. Ha! No, I haven't had an ultrasound because there's been no need. My belly measures right on track at every appointment, and there's been no medical indication for another ultrasound. Besides, those size estimates can be off by plus or minus 2 pounds. Kenlee weighed 7 lbs., 7 oz. at birth, and I expect another average size baby.

Are you dilated at all? 
If you really want to know about my cervix ... I have no idea. I have declined any internal exams for now because dilation won't mean much unless I think I'm in labor. I could be 4 cm today but stay that way for WEEKS. Or, I could be zero cm right now and go into labor tomorrow. I'd rather not get my hopes up or feel disappointed.

Any contractions? 
Not unless I need to poop ... Hey, you asked! Usually any pain/cramping/tightening is a result of something I ate and goes away quickly. So, no. No REAL contractions.

Are you ready? 
If you mean, "Do you finally have diapers in the house?" then yes. If you mean, "Ready to stop peeing every hour?" then DEFINITELY.

How long will you take off work? I get 12 weeks - not all of that is paid, and I will also be having knee surgery during that time. The knee surgery requires at least four weeks off work (read: crutches with no weight bearing), so for now the procedure is scheduled for six weeks after my due date (Dec. 13). We may or may not need to change the surgery date, depending on when I give birth. I should go back to work sometime in January.

Will Kyle get time off work? 
He'll take a week off after the baby is born, then another three weeks after my knee surgery. We are lucky he has a ton of sick time banked and can use it for FMLA. Because if you haven't already thought it out, crutches + newborn = insanity.

Gosh, you sure sound cranky! Are you sure you want to have a baby?
Well, there's no turning back now! Yes, I'm incredibly excited to have another baby ... I'm just not excited about all the aches, pains and annoyances that come with the end of pregnancy (including the barrage of questions). I am grateful and over-the-moon happy to have made it this far without any major complications, (aside from the knee thing ...) but, that doesn't make it easy. Please just be kind and understand that I'm doing my best to deal with a lot of my own anxiety right now ... You don't need to add to it!

Can I get you some ice cream? Tacos? Homemade salted caramel cheesecake? 
YES PLEASE! You are my new best friend, and you are now entitled to ask me all the annoying questions you want! :)

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